DO YOU SOMETIMES FEEL LIKE THE OFFICE MOUSE?
Do you worry that you are not taken seriously?
Are you afraid to speak out when the situation calls?
Do you lie in bed at night kicking yourself for being so timid?

YES? Then this Boundary Setting course is for you!

Setting Boundaries in the Workplace

Hi, my name is Krissy Jackson.

I'm a professional career coach, and I'd like to reassure you that you are not alone. Setting boundaries is the single most common issue my clients deal with in their personal and professional lives. What are they? Why do women find them so difficult to put in place? And, most importantly, what can you do if a lack of boundaries is standing between you and the career success you desire?

What are Boundaries?

Whether you're working in the corporate world or running your own business, you need to develop and continually exercise strong boundaries. Boundaries are the dividers between you and others. They represent the environment within which you operate - mentally, emotionally, and physically. They separate you from other people.

Think of a boundary like a vase, and the vase is holding a bouquet of flowers, which represents your mind, body, and spirit. We need the vase, the "boundaries," in order to keep our integrity as a beautiful bouquet. If there weren't a vase to hold the flowers, they would be scattered all about, and the water would be flowing over the table and on to the floor. The same thing happens when you don't have boundaries. You feel overwhelmed, out of control, and scattered. And, still worse, you make yourself vulnerable to being controlled and manipulated by others because you're afraid to stand up for who you are.

When you don't have boundaries, you don't know where you stop and others begin. It's a challenge to value and respect yourself because you're constantly running around to meet the needs of others while neglecting your own. You must value and take care of the "vase," which represents you. Without boundaries, you can't maintain your integrity - like the beautiful bouquet of flowers arranged in the vase. But, with them, you can feel empowered, focused, and confident to engage in all aspects of your life.

Why are Boundaries so Difficult to Set?

There are several reasons why women find boundary setting challenging:

  • They don't like confrontation.
  • They're socialized to be nice because "that's the way they're supposed to be."
  • They're afraid people won't like them.

Women seem to experience more difficulty setting boundaries than men do. We're socialized in a way that makes it seem like we're "bad" if we are too assertive. My clients often comment that they're afraid that, if they say "no" or speak out, their colleagues will not like them or even, heaven forbid, that they will become the office B**** that everyone loves to hate.

Life is filled with confrontation of one sort or another. It isn't good or bad. It's just a normal part of life that none of us can escape. We must all learn to deal with it. No one will agree with you 100% of the time. The opposite is also true. And, others will not always treat you with respect, no matter what you do. Confrontation is where problems are aired and new lines are set. When you look at it from this perspective, confrontation actually plays an important part in our growth as people.

Being nice and having boundaries are not mutually exclusive. Setting boundaries does not mean that you're bad or wrong. Instead, it means you value and respect yourself. So what's the best way to move into your power by setting boundaries? Here are ten tips to help you get started.

Building Better Boundaries: 10 Success Tips

  • Model success. Think about someone you really admire. I'm sure he or she has strong boundaries. While you might find that somewhat annoying, it's probably the single most important reason you respect them as you do. How do they manage their boundaries? Observe their behavior - then try modeling it.
  • Respect yourself. In order for others to respect your boundaries, you must first respect them yourself. You need to define what is acceptable in terms of how others will treat you. Respect starts with you. It's an attitude that you must wear every day.
  • Think first, act later. What's important to you? How do you want others to treat you? Spend some quiet time thinking things through before you decide to let others know how you feel. Boundaries are important. Write them down. Then think about how you want to communicate them to others. This is a much better approach than suddenly deciding, in the middle of a heated argument, that you're "just not going to take it anymore." That could be a very expensive mistake. Think first -- then act. Don't risk damaging your career, business, or personal relationships by acting on impulse.
  • Teach others how to treat you. Every day you're training people how you want them to treat you, whether you know it or not. By not speaking up, by not informing people about how you wish to be treated, you are confirming that this behavior is completely acceptable in your world. Learn how to say "no" - learn how to speak up - it's the fastest and easiest way to set others straight about who you are and how to respect your boundaries.
  • Management by following up. This strategy is especially important if you're working with others to whom you've delegated tasks. Write down the deliverables, when they were committed to, and their expected completion dates. Follow up daily by phone or in person to make sure that others are working towards completing things according to plan. Regular and focused follow-up reminds others of your expectations.
  • Stick to your guns. Speak up when something isn't right. If a situation is annoying you, rest assured it's bothering others as well. Just like you, they might be fearful of "going against the grain." Every time you stand up for what you believe in, you make your self stronger. At first, it will seem like you're marching through mud; but, over time, you'll become a bold boundary setter.
  • Say "No" and tell them why. When you say "no" to someone, offer a reason. "No," in and of itself, can come across as harsh and abrupt. Lighten up your communication by extending the conversation with some details. "No, I'm so sorry, but I have a lot of commitments right now and taking on this project - well, it would be too much at this time."

    If the issue is of critical importance, and you need to say "yes," be honest about your situation. If taking on a new task is going to put you in a worse situation and cause a failure for another project in which you're involved, consider couching the conversation such that you place the burden back on the other individual to figure out a solution that allows you to complete their requirements without jeopardizing your own.

    For example, you might say, "You know, I have a lot to do right now. And this is really going to push me to the limit. Is it possible to delegate these other tasks to someone else?" Language like this is especially important when dealing with superiors. If you don't tell your manager that you have too much to do, they'll keep piling on the work until you're hopelessly buried in overwhelm. Setting strong boundaries will help you avoid this.
  • Say, "Yes, but ..." When faced with the inevitable last minute request, typically delivered by those who live in chaos and overwhelm, make sure you're even stronger with your boundaries. If you can handle the task, say "yes" - but with the provision that you'll do it when, and only when, you're finished working on your current projects.

    For example, you might say, "Sure, I can do this for you, but I won't be able to start it until 'such and such' is completed first." In the beginning, this behavior will probably be upsetting to others. After all, they're not going to be able to control and manipulate you like they used to. But, after a while, by consistently exercising your boundaries, they'll soon learn not to burden you with last minute requests.
  • Under-promise and over-deliver. When you're asked to do something, tell them that things will take a little longer than you expect. This way, if something does come up - which inevitably something will - you'll still be able to deliver on time. Then, if everything proceeds as planned, you'll finish early, and they'll be pleasantly surprised. Setting boundaries and setting expectations in the minds of others go hand-in-hand.
  • Understand that change can be challenging. Setting strong boundaries, communicating them to others, and then staying committed to them can be a challenge. You may find yourself in a push-pull situation until you naturally gain more confidence and move into your new position of strength. Every time you make a change for the better, someone will be there trying to push you back to "how you used to be." After all, the "old you" was easier to control because you didn't have boundaries. Don't give up. Focus on the goal - create and maintain strong boundaries, and respect and value yourself. After a while, others will accept the new you. They won't have a choice. You will have "trained" them to treat you in the way you expect to be treated and, most importantly, you will have strong boundaries in place - whether they like them or not.

The best tips in the world, however, are no use at all unless you put them into action. How many times have you read a great self-help book and agreed with everything the author said? You were energized and determined that you were going to take all the advice packed onto its pages - and yet, within a month, the book was on the shelf gathering dust, and your life had not changed a bit.

This is different! When you sign up for the Setting Boundaries in the Workplace course, you will work with a group to achieve the action steps necessary to change the way you interact with others. In one month, far from gathering dust, you will be half way through a course that challenges you to go out and try its recommended exercises. Each week you will share your wins and challenges and receive advice and reassurance as you move toward the new confident you!

In eight weeks I can guarantee you will not be the same person you were when you started the course. And, to make sure you don't fall back into old habits, you will have one full year in my Online Career Coaching Club to support you in protecting your boundaries until doing so becomes second nature.

If You Feel You Need Help Setting Boundaries
Sign up for our next 8-week course today.

Next Courses Begin: Saturday , August 23, at 12pm EST / 6pm CET
Tuesday, August 26, at 12pm EST / 6pm CET

Setting Boundaries in the Workplace

Learn how to:

  • Model the success you see in others
  • Garner respect by respecting yourself first
  • Think first and act later, not the other way around
  • Consistently train others how to treat you
  • Always under-promise and over-deliver
  • Manage others by following up on deliverables
  • Say, "Yes, but on my terms"
  • Say "No," and explain why
  • Stick to your guns every time
  • Feel confident, even when standing up to your superiors

What to expect from this 8-week boundary coaching program

Every week you will join a group coaching session conducted on an international conference line. Each call will consist of a presentation and interactive discussion based on the day's topic, followed by a role play of a typical situation experienced in the workplace.

You will automatically become a member of my Online Career Coaching Community.

  • Here you will find course worksheets and the 8-part workbook that follows the outline of the course.
  • You will be able to network and join discussions with your fellow classmates.
  • You will be able to read articles and access resources.
  • You can also sign up for my special bonus - clients only calls. Here I interview guest speakers about subjects requested by members on the online career coaching community forums.

"I will never be able to thank Krissy enough for all that she has done for me. In six short months I have gone from being a complete doormat to talking in front of groups and helping other shy people find their voice".

Anne Trimble

Ford Motor Company

"Krissy can make the impossible possible, the difficult effortless, and she can even change an unfavorable situation into a favorable one.

Since beginning coaching I have fallen in love with a job that I was ready to walk out of before I met Krissy. I am relieved that I didn't leave now because, without the work we have been doing on me - I would probably have just taken my old baggage with me to a new job."

Helen

Application Support Analyst, Scotland

Group Coaching Program Overview

  Group Coaching Calls Membership in Online Career Coaching Club
Week 1 Self respect: Building a new perspective Online discussions
Week 2 Choose your role model Articles
Week 3 Set your boundaries Bonus Calls: Guest speakers & monthly group calls
Week 4 Training others to value you Bonus Calls: Guest speakers & monthly group calls
Week 5 Put fail-safe systems in place Q and A forum
Week 6 Under-promise and over-deliver Online networking
Week 7 Setting boundaries with your boss Peer support
Week 8 Setting boundaries with your colleagues  
Bonus 1 A one-to-one forward planning call to help you plan your next career move  
Bonus 2 A one-year membership in the Online Career Coaching Community for group support and to ensure lessons learned become second nature.
  • Eight Group Coaching Calls. These are held via telephone or Skype. During these calls, I will present the topic of the day and will coach the group around any issues you are experiencing. In addition to sharing my ideas with you, I'll provide you with several action steps to work on, and we will role-play a typical workplace scenario.
  • You will be able to IM (Instant Message) me once a week if anything comes up.
  • One-Year Online Career Coaching Club Membership. I don't just leave you high and dry at the end of our 8-week coaching program. The package includes a one-year membership to my Coaching Club calls and the Online Coaching Club Private Member Forum. Being part of this club entitles you to go to general coaching club mastermind calls once a month, to ask questions and share resources on the community discussion board, and to join my bonus calls, where I interview different people about topics relevant to career development.
  • And, finally, at the end of the program, we'll discuss changes, challenges, and how you see yourself progressing over the next year. It is a proven fact that people with a clear plan consisting of achievable goals tend to easily surpass their goals, and those with no plan tend not make it anywhere near their hazy target. During this session I will provide you with worksheets and planners that will help you pull all the things together that you have learned and develop a plan of action for the next year of your career path.

"It took me a long time to buck up the courage to contact Krissy. I really couldn't believe she would work with someone on the other side of the world. I am glad I did. It is probably the best thing I have ever done. I now have a job that I would never have dared apply for in the past."

Heather

Personal Assistant to College Principal, Sydney, AU

"My partner and I chose Krissy Jackson as one of the team leaders in our 90 Day Product Factory program because of her high-level leadership talent and skills. Krissy immediately took to the job with her great humor, enthusiasm, and love of people. In the Product Factory students are asked to learn in action, and Krissy led her team to accomplish more than they ever thought possible. Furthermore, Krissy continuously amazes us by over-delivering. Boy, if I only had a nickel for each time Krissy went beyond the call of duty! I know she can make a significant difference in your life if you work with her."

Michael Port

Author of "Book Yourself Solid" and Co-founder of The 90 Day Product Factory

What is this Highly Personalized Program Worth to You?

  • 8 group coaching calls covering specific topics.
  • Weekly role plays that demonstrate topics covered.
  • One year's full membership to an online community of your peers.
  • Weekly instant message access to me with your specific questions.
  • A private one-to-one Forward Planning call to help you plan your next career moves.

Boundaries and Your Success

Boundaries are critically important to your success in life, both personally and professionally. They define who you are and who you are not. They empower you to value and respect yourself. And, when you do, others will as well. It's not easy setting and maintaining your boundaries. But, if you want to claim your place in this life, if you want to reach your goals, if you want to achieve the success you desire - it all starts with you.

Take on the challenge. I guarantee you that the rewards will be well worth it.

I have ONE question for you:
Are you ready to learn how to speak your rights?

YES! Krissy, I'm ready to start setting solid boundaries that will enhance my career and my life!

Sign me up for the 8-week Boundary Setting Course.
Pay only $460 today or two installments of $250

Note: Prices going up 20% in June 2008

Enroll Now

Remember, this information will not only help you achieve better job satisfaction, it will provide you with important information and stratagies that will help you throughout your entire career.

If you have any further questions please do not hesitate to contact me at Krissy(at)itgirlscoach.com

IT Girls Coach

Forchwaldstr. 45 | 6318 Walchwil | Switzerland

Ph: + 41 41 758 1360

krissy(at)itgirlscoach.com

Privacy Notice: I do not sell or rent my electronic mailing list to anyone at anytime for any reason. I hate spam as much as you do. If you purchase a product on this site, I may email you product announcements occasionally. If you don't want to get them, you can let me know by clicking the link at the bottom of the email.