The IT Girls Coach

Well, it is that day again and you either love it or loathe it. Personally, Valentine’s Day always
leaves me feeling kind of flat.

Of course, if like me, your sexual persuasion means that you are with a man - what on earth do we imagine we are thinking???

This is yet another time when we expect these poor creatures to read our minds.

Our romance hormones are in overdrive and there is absolutely no way our rapidly becoming ‘less significant’ other could possibly live up to our bloated expectations.

I don’t know which is worse,

living with the shame that you are single on this couple only day,

or being in a couple trying to survive a day of roses which suddenly quadrupled in price overnight,

restaurants set corner to corner with tables for two, whose staff try to get you in and out as quickly as possible so that they might just get in three seatings over the course of the evening.

…or the inevitable tension around a day in which expectations or perceived expectations are so revoltingly high.

It’s enough to make you hide under the covers and not come out until the 15th …which actually might not be such a bad idea if your significant other would just stay there with you to keep you company!

Anyway before I let you get on with your day, I though I might share some of my best and worse valentines with you, as well as the history of valentines day.

My Valentine Highlights

- Writing cards to myself in boarding School, just so that I would not be the only one who didn’t get a card. I wonder how many of us did that?
- Days spent with guys in horrible tension, because we were not quite at the love stage of the relationship; wondering how we were going to get around this one without a fight.
- The looks on the other diners faces when my (then) husband insisted that I bring our 6 month old baby along to our valentines dinner/and his six month birthday …especially when I had to feed him halfway through dinner. I bet a lot of those young fresh couples though twice before they got intimate again

I invite you to post your own Valentines horror stories in the comments box below. We can definitely look back and laugh at them now.

Well, I wish you a happy Valentine’s Day, whatever that might mean for you - I am off now to terrorize my current better half.

It is generally said that 40 to 45% of adults make one or more resolutions each year. Most New Year’s resolutions are about self care and management, weight loss, exercise, and spending more time with family and friends. Other popular resolutions involve better money management and debt reduction.

Unfortunately after only weeks or a couple of short months, most people have broken their resolutions and are resolutely reattached to their former habits. The reason for this is because resolutions have a fail mechanism. They work on an ‘all or nothing’ mentality. “If you fall off the wagon even once, you have failed yourself! And with that weighing down on your shoulders it is hard to get back on the proverbial horse and reengage with your NY’s resolution.”

Goal setting however is quite a different beast. Especially if you set your goals using concepts laid out by the laws of attraction.

1. Decide what your goals will be. Be very specific, and write them down as if they are already a reality. If you have vague goals, you are guaranteed to achieve vague results.

E.g. I have a job that I love. I am paid well. My colleagues are wonderful and my boss is mentoring me for my next promotion.

2. You must dare to dream. Don’t just write down what you know is easily obtainable. What would you add to your goals setting list if you were not afraid?

- Now look over your goals, why do you want to achieve them. Is it something you really want or is it something you think others would want for you. In order to achieve your goals they have to be something you really want for yourself.

- Next spend some time getting to grips with why you have not achieved these goals before. What is the underlying problem? This can sometimes be difficult work and is something you might hire a coach to help you uncover.

3. Once you have decided on your final list of goals print them on a bright card, even laminate it if you can, and put it in a prominent position. This will keep your goals top of mind throughout the year. Your subconscious will notice the card even if you are not reading the words every day. Again a coach can help you stay accountable to achieving these goals.

4. Do make a point of reading your goals regularly (weekly or monthly) and always work toward them, breaking the big audacious goals down into easily manageable chunks and then moving forward one step at a time.

5. Trust you will achieve your goals and let go of any struggle and the outcome.

6. Answer the questions:

“How much is finally achieving my desired results worth to me?”

“Will this investment mean I won’t be making the same resolutions again a year from now?”

Don’t go it alone. Enlist the help of others. If necessary, spend money on services, e.g, a personal trainer, education, or coaching which will help you to achieve your goals.

7. Revisit your goals at the end of the year and be amazed at how well you did.

It is not magic. Although it might feel like it sometimes. You will have enjoyed a whole year with no self blame or reprisal. If you slipped a little, and even if you didn’t quite reach your goal, I am willing to bet that you have achieved much, much more than any other year, and that your outlook has considerably improved.

The reason for this is that it is a proven fact that if you start your year with defined goals, you will either achieve them, or at least get a good way towards achieving them. If you do not state your goals, you have nothing to aim for, become distracted by other things, and be left still dreaming of a better life as yet another year draws to a close.

You are the only one who really knows what you need and you can set yourself up for success. Be realistic and plan for successes, but also think about how you will handle setbacks. Get your support systems in place and do something every week that will move you closer to where you want to be and to who you want to become.

Finally, don’t forget to celebrate all small successes as you go along. This way you draw a line in the sand that you will be less likely to slip behind in the future.

Sorry, but it’s time to shape up!

You have a skeleton to hold you up and muscles to hold you in.
…if you don’t take care of both, the results are devastating to your whole being.

If you slouch, because you work at a desk, or because of low self esteem, or depression, your chest muscles contract. When this happens, your breathing becomes restricted, you don’t draw as much air into your lungs as you should, and your blood, and therefore every organ in your body, becomes oxygen starved and enervated.

The other result of slouching is that your shoulders and upper back muscles are now doing all of the work. They are constantly in stress. This results in painful neck and shoulder muscles, headaches and irritability. If your upper back and shoulders are not positioned correctly you are more at risk of frozen shoulder, bursitis, pinching and strains.

Your abdominal muscles, if not exercised, become weak and flabby. But you still have to move and support your body. What happens now is that your lower back muscles begin to do the work of your abdominal muscles, something they were never designed to do. The result is more lower back pain.

Now, let’s move down to your gluteus muscles, or buttocks. These muscles support the lower back, hips and pelvis. You need to exercise these muscles not only to have an attractive rear view, but also so that you don’t damage your pelvis, hips or incur lower back problems. Exercising your glut’s and pelvic muscles can go a long way towards preventing arthritis in your hips in later life.

Moving still further down: Your hamstrings, those muscles running down the back of your thighs, can cause still more backache and even knee problems if they are allowed to become shortened and inflexible.

Finally, it’s important to move and stretch your spine. Your spinal column is not only at the centre of all movement it also works in conjunction with your rib cage to protect your internal organs. When you exercise your spine, you also stretch and massage these internal organs, which greatly improves their function.

Have I convinced you it’s time to do some exercise yet?

♥ Exerpt taken from book “Kick Start Your Life”

~ Written by Krissy Jackson 2006

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In previous recessions men bore the brunt of job losses but this time it will be different. With more women working in the hardest hit areas - retail and services - it is they who will suffer most, jeopardising their hard earned financial independence and equality at work. Could this downturn reverse the huge economic gains women have made over the past few decades?

Read full article here

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About this article

From:The Observer, Sunday 18 January 2009
Ruth Sunderland, business editor

The real victims of this credit crunch? Women
This article was first published on guardian.co.uk at 00.01 GMT on Sunday 18 January 2009. It appeared in the Observer on Sunday 18 January 2009 on p32 of the Focus section. It was last updated at 09.38 GMT on Monday 19 January 2009.

A couple of years ago, I wrote an article about delegation. I enjoy managing my business and delegating out any and all tasks that I can. Instead, I focus my time and energy doing high value activities that result in the best return for me – both in terms of my personal happiness and profits.

Productivity and time management are some of my favorite subjects and areas around which I frequently coach my clients. The other day, I read an article about managing email. The author pointed out 5 actions we can take when processing the many messages we receive each day — delete, delegate, respond, defer, and do.

But I started to think – this isn’t just for emails. You can easily apply this to everything you do, reaping many benefits including:

• More free time that you can spend with family and friends
• Less headaches, literally and figuratively
• Less mental clutter and distraction
• Saving time, money (in some cases) and energy
• And, the big overall benefit – you’ll make more room in your life for what matters most to you.

Here are my tips on how to get started:

Delete. Delete activities that are unproductive, low value and which aren’t aligned with the vision for your life.

Delegate. Outsource low value, unproductive activities. Outsource your weaknesses. If you lack the talent or strength in a particular area, find someone who can help you out. Don’t waste your time, money and energy learning something that detracts or distracts you from high-return, high-value activities.

Respond. Respond quickly but not foolishly. Always do your research, seek wise counsel, and evaluate your alternatives. Set deadlines for decisions you need to make and when it comes time – make them. Don’t waste mental energy mulling something over for three weeks when you can just as easily make a good decision in 3 minutes. Life is short. Stop over thinking things.

Defer, but set a deadline. If you can’t make a decision right now, set it aside. But before you do, assign it a deadline so that it will definitely be handled in the future. Don’t let things hang in limbo.

Do. If you have something that requires you to take action, don’t procrastinate. Get it done now. Don’t strive for perfection – that’s just a convenient excuse for not starting or finishing something. Again, if you don’t want to do something that needs to get done, outsource it and let someone else get it done for you.

There you have it. It’s as easy as deleting, delegating, responding, deferring and doing. Make a note of these 5 words and post them in your work area where you can see them. It will keep you focused managing your time effectively.